In the event of my demise.

I have decided to write some epitaphs in the event of mys demise, now whatever that event might be I will try to fit one for it. I'll need someone in charge of putting this on the stone, so if you are interested post your name...

All these should be preceded by Here lies SK.

I thought there were two,
but there were three
too bad for me.

Went for a swim,
when the river was placid
little did he know,
the river was acid.

Never belived in god or religion,
but he should have believed
in head-on collision.

Had six guns,
neeeded seven
now he's in heaven.

He was a merry fellow
and he was very fond of the drink
so it appears he was drunk
when his head hit the sink.

Got on a plane
that never landed
loooks like in the air
the crew was disbanded.

Never liked stoners of junkies
but he should have been careful
around rabid monkeys.

Took a leap of faith
the hesitated
but he was alredy falling
as is here demonstrated.

If i think of more events of my demise I will post more epitaphs to not leave any ground uncovered, better safe than sorry.